I’ve just been through so much in my life. I’m turning 20 in November and I’ve been through enough hardships for a lifetime. I’ve seen things kids should never see. Dealt with issues people wouldn’t believe. And I hate it because I have nobody to talk to. Literally no one. How could I pile up all the tragedies I’ve gone through, all the struggles, and life threatening times, how could I tell someone all of this stuff? To break their heart? To make them feel bad? I don’t want that. I just want to tell someone everything I’ve ever gone through in my life and just have them say nothing. Just hold me and say nothing. Because words can’t erase the pain I’ve been through. I just want to scream and vent and cry my eyes out and explain to someone why death seems easier than life. I wouldn’t do it, it’d be a selfish decision that’d hurt others. And I care too much about them to do that. But I just can’t see. God. Even now, I don’t know if I’m going to post this. Because who cares? Who really cares? It just hurts so much sometimes. And I’m strong, I must be strong since I’ve lived through all the shit I’ve been through. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep handling more and more pain. All I see is anger and hatred in my house. Nobody talks anymore. Nobody laughs. They yell. And I sit here in this box of a room, and I just cry silently til I fall asleep. Wishing that I could finally tell someone what I’ve been through. Just so somebody understands that I’m not who everybody thinks I am. I’m not this happy woman that loves everybody and everything and has a nice easy life with a nice family and nice memories. I’m a broken depressed woman that is slowly breaking, bit by bit. My reasons for happiness cease to exist. I hide it all because I hate pity. I can’t stand the thought of people thinking I crave attention. But I can’t hold this in anymore. I feel like I’m going to implode. I just might.